So, the curtain has come down on your wedding day, and what a day it was, right??. Do you look back, and think ‘wow, we had the best day of our lives??’………….
The morning after our wedding, as soon as I could see daylight poking through the plantation shutters of the gorgeous beachside penthouse we had stayed in, I sat up in bed, looked at the wedding ring on my finger, looked over at my sleeping husband and smiled. I felt so relieved it was over, but I could feel that prickling feeling at the back of my eyes, when you know tears are imminent. Was I truly relieved it was over though??. I had put so much blood, sweat and tears in to the planning – 15 months of eating, sleeping and breathing wedding planning, and…..and, is this what I get for it – feeling like bursting in to tears??!!. I couldn’t work it out….I slowly extracted myself from the bed, and jumped in to the shower, thinking that was what I needed. As I washed my face, I realised I had forgotten to remove some of the false eyelashes my miracle of a make-up artist had applied the day before. I pulled them off my own lashes, and as I stood in the shower, watching them swirl about in the vortex of water, and get washed down the drain, it was enough to really bring the tears on. Why?. Because, that, right there, was like a representation of the day before – our wedding day was gone, done and over – I felt like there was nothing left. I made sure I stood in the shower long enough for the red eyes to disappear – the last thing my new husband needed to see was his wife of less than 24 hours crying!. We were due over at my parents’ house in less than an hour for a post-wedding BBQ breakfast. I figured as long as I kept busy, and there were other people around me, I’d be fine. I wanted that BBQ to go on forever – I didn’t want to say goodbye to people, as they left, to make their way back home. As our guests began departing, they left us saying ‘we had such a great time’, and ‘we’re so happy for you guys’, and ‘enjoy your honeymoon’. I guess, it wasn’t until later that day, I realised how exhausted I was. I was dying for a nana-nap, but I was almost afraid to let myself slip in to the land of zzzzzz’s – because, what if I woke up feeling the same way I did that morning, or, heaven forbid – worse?. We made our way back to the beach apartment, and later in the afternoon, my husband asked if it was OK for his groomsman, and his wife, to come over for drinks, and then maybe dinner out somewhere afterwards. I’d only met this groomsman’s wife the night before our wedding, but I felt like she would be a good person to ‘bounce’ things off. When her and her husband arrived for drinks, I discreetly pulled her aside, and immediately started firing questions at her ‘I feel sad – is that normal?’, ‘I don’t remember everything from yesterday – is that normal?’. She instantly made me feel at ease, and most importantly – ‘normal’. She put her arms around me and said ‘hey, it’s OK’. She explained it very simply – it was an emotional day, and I’m a very emotional person, but it’s also because I’d just poured my heart and soul in to something which I wanted to be perfect (and she assured me, it was). The not being able to remember everything is because there is, and was, so much going on – from the minute I woke up, to the minute the DJ played the last song.
For 15 months, I felt as if I’d been treated like a celebrity, with people firstly gushing over the engagement ring (and the proposal). Then, as the day drew nearer, friends, colleagues and family members became more and more excited, asking questions like ‘are you feeling nervous?’, and ‘so, is everything done/organised?’. Never before had I received so much attention, and I loved it.
I knew we had a honeymoon and almost 2 months off work to look forward to, but the pinnacle, the climax of the previous 15 months had been reached and it was complete. Some brides might feel relief that it’s all over (and I did), but I also just wanted to rewind the clock, and go back – not because it hadn’t gone perfectly, but put simply – I wanted to do it all over again!.
You will probably feel a little ‘lost’ once the wedding is over. I distinctly recall going through the photos our guests had taken (and posted to our private/closed Face Book page), and laughing hysterically. On quite a few occasions, my husband and I said ‘hang on – I don’t even remember that photo being taken!!’. Moments like this can be shared between the two of you, or it can be something you do, alone. Maybe a single photo will strike a chord with you, and make you think back to an instance during the day which was, and still is, so very special.
I would go back and look at the photos on my phone, with a goofy look on my face. I’d replay our wedding video over and over and over – if it was on a VHS video, it would be scratched to the buggery by now.
My advice to upcoming brides is this – soak up as much of the day as you can. You will be fussed over, you will have people surrounding you, telling you you’re beautiful (you already are, without all the bells and whistles), telling you it’s your day, telling you ‘it’s not long now!’. And, all of those statements are absolutely spot on. The most exciting thing for me, was feeling the butterflies in my stomach – the same feeling I had when I first laid eyes on my future husband. It most certainly is your day, and you are allowed to shine in whichever way you want. Also, keep in mind the day will absolutely fly by. I had so many people tell me this, and I thought it was BS, but they’re right. One minute you’re waking up on the morning of your wedding, and the next thing you know, they’re calling last drinks at your reception….
If you do end up experiencing the post-wedding blues/slump, it’s OK – you’ll get through it. While you were planning your wedding, did you perhaps put certain tasks off??. Did you find yourself saying ‘let’s just get through the wedding first’??. Maybe you were purposely using it as a procrastination tool??. You might even find you had managed to get used to it being such a permanent fixture in your schedule that it was a way for you to put other things off, but now it’s finished, you have to face up to the stuff you’d been putting off??. I’ll give you an example – I used planning our wedding as a ‘leave pass’ to cleaning up/tidying the spare room. Yes, I admit it. So, when we arrived home from our honeymoon in Bali, I couldn’t hide from the mess anymore – there were no excuses I could use, so I just had to face it. Well, actually, there were probably numerous other excuses I could have come up with!.
Has the experience of planning your wedding scarred you for life, or would you like to help others?. I’m one of these weird people who loved planning their wedding (and I mean, I LOVED it). I didn’t find it stressful, but I did find it ‘tricky’, trying to weave it in to my already fairly hectic life. This is why I’m writing these articles – I want to be able to reach out and help other upcoming brides. I’d very much like parts of my articles to be ‘a-ha’ moments. I want upcoming brides to read my articles, and for them to sit back and say ‘oh my god – this is exactly how I’m feeling!’ or ‘oh thank god – reading this makes me feel so normal!!’.
